full of krapp

Hallo! I write to you after visiting Europe for the second time in my life. As you can already tell, this trip drastically changed the way I say Hello. I say it like Germans say it now. How cultured am I?? To drive home the answer to that rhetorical question, all of my emails from […]

I am reporting to you live on August 30th. Two days after my 27th birthday. I would have written you on my birthday, but alas, I forgot my password. It took me two days to figure it out. It goes to show you that just because you get older does not mean you get smarter. […]

I recently turned 26 years old and apparently it has been a year since I have updated this blog. So in celebration of both of these things (i.e.: my negligence and my birth), I have written a BuzzFeed list of life lessons that corresponds to my age in human years. Some of these will have […]

I’m in a conversation with a lovely lady about masturbation. Her tales of vibration combined with her breast implantation lead to infatuation that quickly becomes frustration when she begins to talk about her occupation. Goodbye, excitation!   I am overcome with a sensation. I need to pee. Urination. “Miss, please excuse my evacuation from this […]

This is a post about the illogical condition of depression. It is going to start with a moment in time that I consider my lowest point. This is the first time I have ever admitted that I felt this way to anyone. It gets a little sad. Then it is going to get a lot more upbeat. And we are all going to walk away from it with a valuable lesson. K? Alright. Chill.